One word. That's all it is. That's all it takes. One single solitary word. How one word can mean so much astounds me sometimes. Taken straight from the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, disappointment means to disappoint, which in turn means "to fail to meet the expectation or hope of."
Growing up I always worried about disappointing my parents. Who didn't? There was ones own education, how they treated others, how one handled their responsibilities, whether they did the right thing or not, appearance...the list goes on. For me, I always worried about disappointing my mom the most. She's a great lady. Works two jobs to provide for my siblings and I, listens and gives herself wholeheartedly to those in need.. she's a beautiful individual and to disappoint her would be the worst thing possible. But you see, it wasn't until recently that I realized that the worst is when you disappoint yourself.
We all have goals and expectations for ourselves, both conscious and unconscious. The disappointment one experiences in themselves when one fails to reach their goal is a feeling we all will eventually know and learn from. The disappointment one has towards ones self because of actions, words or thoughts can be much worse, although we too can learn from them.
Actions, words and thoughts are often so instinctive that you don't realize until after the fact what happened, or why it happened. It's when you realize that something you did, said or thought isn't you, isn't right, or isn't fair that you begin to feel disappointed. And I mean really disappointed. It's amazing how hindsight can open ones eyes to themselves.
I cannot begin to explain how I have disappointed myself in the past eight months. I look back on what I did, or what I said, or what I thought and I am not proud of it. So in the past month I have been trying to change. I set goals. I have been striving to get back on track to who I am, and who I know I can become. It hasn't been easy, far from it in fact. Goals are going to be accompanied by the one thing I am trying to avoid- disappointment. I know that in the long haul, however, that the disappointment of missing a deadline or having to ask for help to achieve my goal is easier to deal with than the disappointment I would experience for not persevering.
I want to rediscover myself, and I want to learn the true meaning of motivation. I want to conquer loneliness. I want to trust myself again. And I can do it. We all can. All we need is faith. It is truly amazing what the power of belief and faith can do, from ourselves and from God.
Life is a constant battle, and God will test us, but we are only given what we can handle. It not only allows us to grow and learn constantly, but it forces us to open our eyes to the world around us. Life is far too short to live in anger, fear, or disappointment. Let's conquer it. Let's do it together. Conquer life.
Growing up I always worried about disappointing my parents. Who didn't? There was ones own education, how they treated others, how one handled their responsibilities, whether they did the right thing or not, appearance...the list goes on. For me, I always worried about disappointing my mom the most. She's a great lady. Works two jobs to provide for my siblings and I, listens and gives herself wholeheartedly to those in need.. she's a beautiful individual and to disappoint her would be the worst thing possible. But you see, it wasn't until recently that I realized that the worst is when you disappoint yourself.
We all have goals and expectations for ourselves, both conscious and unconscious. The disappointment one experiences in themselves when one fails to reach their goal is a feeling we all will eventually know and learn from. The disappointment one has towards ones self because of actions, words or thoughts can be much worse, although we too can learn from them.
Actions, words and thoughts are often so instinctive that you don't realize until after the fact what happened, or why it happened. It's when you realize that something you did, said or thought isn't you, isn't right, or isn't fair that you begin to feel disappointed. And I mean really disappointed. It's amazing how hindsight can open ones eyes to themselves.
I cannot begin to explain how I have disappointed myself in the past eight months. I look back on what I did, or what I said, or what I thought and I am not proud of it. So in the past month I have been trying to change. I set goals. I have been striving to get back on track to who I am, and who I know I can become. It hasn't been easy, far from it in fact. Goals are going to be accompanied by the one thing I am trying to avoid- disappointment. I know that in the long haul, however, that the disappointment of missing a deadline or having to ask for help to achieve my goal is easier to deal with than the disappointment I would experience for not persevering.
I want to rediscover myself, and I want to learn the true meaning of motivation. I want to conquer loneliness. I want to trust myself again. And I can do it. We all can. All we need is faith. It is truly amazing what the power of belief and faith can do, from ourselves and from God.
Life is a constant battle, and God will test us, but we are only given what we can handle. It not only allows us to grow and learn constantly, but it forces us to open our eyes to the world around us. Life is far too short to live in anger, fear, or disappointment. Let's conquer it. Let's do it together. Conquer life.
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