Day by Day AS ...

I have lost my keys I have lost my pen I have lost my sunglasses But most importantly, I have lost my way home I have traveled far and wide I have seen many things And experienced much more But I have still lost my way home

Typical past few days being me- if you have been following this blog or know me at all I'm sure you have realized that that means I've been thinking. My thinking ranges from philosophical to sociological to just thoughts. This post is a bit more of a sociological, and maybe a bit psychological, post. All my thoughts and personal observations, nothing else. I've asked around, gotten a few individuals inputs as to what they think it means to 'be easy.' For the most part, they are the same. You sleep around a lot, it doesn't take much to convince you to sleep with someone, low values or morals or confidence, someone looking too hard for appreciation.... the list goes on. Okay, so that is being easy. Does that mean that you have to do one night stands to be easy? I haven't decided on that one. I'm not sure being 'easy' refers to just how likely you are to sleep with someone. I think it also means how vulnerable you are and likely you are t...

It maybe a sad thing to say, but I long for love and other things attached to it I want a man to hold my hand Take me out to dinner Cuddle with me on cold nights Take a walk under the stars Kiss me just because It may seem typical or unrealistic But I just would like to know what that feels like - Love and Other Things

What does it mean to be a friend? I believe, like love, everyone has their own definition Mine is a person whom I can trust, is loyal, reliable, and someone that places either little or no judgment on what I do - someone who can tell me their honest opinion without fear Now, that is a friend But what about a BEST friend? Are they the same thing just the best at the job? If this is the case, I have three - not one They all tie for the prize This is because they each have the qualities that fit my description and much more Best Friend #1 is just like me We have the same interests and talk about anything pop culture She is truly my other half Best Friend #2 is honest and can read me like a book With her it's easy to talk about simple things - like music But she is also the one I talk to with issues that I usually can't tell others She says her opinion every time but she listens and never tells Best Friend #3 is outgoing and adventurous She brings out the best in me and pushes me t...

What else is there to say? Doesn't 'topsy turvey' say it all??? It happens when everything feels so out of place, or you feel so disconnected from everything else. Nothing is right, yet everything is perfect. What way is up, and what way is down? What is right, and what is wrong? What is an opinion, and what is a fact? Are your feelings real? Justified? Or is it just a mind game? Do you know yourself well enough to figure out what is real and what isn't? My mind can't stop racing. This Christmas vacation, a time of family, friends, love, laughter and giving, it has been so different than I ever anticipated. Decisions I have to make, being torn between friends, being tugged by my heart in different directions... many things are not as simple as they seem to be, or as anticipated. This vacation has been so full of bumps and holes and unexpected heartache, pain, and hurt. What makes it all worse is that I thought I knew myself. When things such as this happe...

It's been quite awhile since anything has been posted, especially by me. I have been incredibly busy with midterms, finals and projects. The past month I have pretty much lived in a hole. I haven't seen many of my friends, or if I have it has been for an extremely short period of time. Even my boyfriend... it is a long distance relationship, and he keeps having to come here to see me. I haven't been up to his place in a month. I know school is my priority- I need to do well, but sometimes I can't help but feel like I'm not doing things right. Something feels off. I think maybe it might be related to the fact that I almost lost my friends a year ago. I was in a relationship that took up my entire time- it took me away from my school, my friends, my family and myself. I lost myself. My outlook on life became quite negative, and this past summer allowed me to become positive again. That relationship is behind me, and I'm back to my smiling self. I know ...

Everyone says you need to experience a broken heart to know true love But they usually imply that another individual is involved Yet some people feel broken-hearted when they are alone Why? 'Cause they are afraid to be loved We sometimes are so afraid of love that we put walls or barriers around our hearts and souls to keep out the hurt Some are easily penetrated while others may never be My barrier is quite strong, it might not appear like that at first glance but it is Very few people have been allowed through this barrier I am scared I am scared to be that weeping girl in her bedroom Crying about some boy About some boy who took the world from her I never wanted to be this girl I knew I was stronger than that Yet I have created this barrier that very few seem to penetrate I now realized I have only hurt myself With pushing out the hurt, I have pushed out the love as well I sit here around walls that are plain and lifeless But how do I break them down? All at once? Start...