It's been quite awhile since anything has been posted, especially by me. I have been incredibly busy with midterms, finals and projects. The past month I have pretty much lived in a hole. I haven't seen many of my friends, or if I have it has been for an extremely short period of time. Even my boyfriend... it is a long distance relationship, and he keeps having to come here to see me. I haven't been up to his place in a month. I know school is my priority- I need to do well, but sometimes I can't help but feel like I'm not doing things right. Something feels off.
I think maybe it might be related to the fact that I almost lost my friends a year ago. I was in a relationship that took up my entire time- it took me away from my school, my friends, my family and myself. I lost myself. My outlook on life became quite negative, and this past summer allowed me to become positive again. That relationship is behind me, and I'm back to my smiling self. I know I hurt a lot of people last year, and I don't want to do that again. I am trying my best to juggle school, family, friends and my love life. It is far from easy though.
My last exam is this Saturday, and I'm thrilled. It gives me an entire week before Christmas to visit with friends, and go hit some clubs. But things are a lot tougher than I had thought. As excited as I am, the past month I have felt incredibly torn. My one friend comes home from school after three and a half months, and she is easily my best friend (we will call her Bianca). But it is also another of my friends birthday celebration that night (let's refer to her as Ali). Ali is one of the friends I almost lost in the past year or so due to my previous relationship. I didn't celebrate her birthday or make any effort to see her. I am completely torn as to what to do that night- they are both celebrating by going to a club. I thought I had it all figured out. I would do a predrink with Bianca and my other friends, and go to the club with the birthday girl Ali. This way, I would see both friends and be able to introduce my boyfriend to Bianca.
It hasn't gone so well. Bianca is incredibly excited to come home, and it seems I have hurt her more than I ever intended. Mind you, I also cannot go out to the bar one or two more of her planned nights. She is home for 23 days. In those 23 days, she is spending five with family. I am spending seven with my family and my boyfriends family. So that leaves us with 16 days. It really is a lot, but considering I am not okay with spending the amount of money New Years Eve suggests at the bar, I have lost more time with Bianca. She doesn't start school for a full week after I, so she is in town an extra week. But, since I am in class I won't see her much still, and the last Friday she is home is up in the air with me because of school.
I suggested a karaoke night, which she seems happy with, but because I have said no to many of the bar nights with us four close friends (been together for about 15 years), she is really hurt. I'm not sure what else to do. I guess I'm going to have to wait it out, hope she will understand, and go with it.
I am incredibly excited for her to come home. This girl always makes me smile, and has such a zest for life you can't help but be happy around her. She has been there for me through so much, and we have countless memories together. Although many do not know it, she is my best friend. I like to say I have more than one best friend, but I view her as my best, best friend.
I will be flying to see her during my Reading Week, and am thrilled. A week with her will be a blast. I did it last year, and although I didn't accomplish any school work, I didn't care. I enjoyed my time with her too much.
Well, I got my thoughts out of my system, I guess it is now time to head back to studying. Wish me luck.
xoxo DaybyDayS. God bless.
I think maybe it might be related to the fact that I almost lost my friends a year ago. I was in a relationship that took up my entire time- it took me away from my school, my friends, my family and myself. I lost myself. My outlook on life became quite negative, and this past summer allowed me to become positive again. That relationship is behind me, and I'm back to my smiling self. I know I hurt a lot of people last year, and I don't want to do that again. I am trying my best to juggle school, family, friends and my love life. It is far from easy though.
My last exam is this Saturday, and I'm thrilled. It gives me an entire week before Christmas to visit with friends, and go hit some clubs. But things are a lot tougher than I had thought. As excited as I am, the past month I have felt incredibly torn. My one friend comes home from school after three and a half months, and she is easily my best friend (we will call her Bianca). But it is also another of my friends birthday celebration that night (let's refer to her as Ali). Ali is one of the friends I almost lost in the past year or so due to my previous relationship. I didn't celebrate her birthday or make any effort to see her. I am completely torn as to what to do that night- they are both celebrating by going to a club. I thought I had it all figured out. I would do a predrink with Bianca and my other friends, and go to the club with the birthday girl Ali. This way, I would see both friends and be able to introduce my boyfriend to Bianca.
It hasn't gone so well. Bianca is incredibly excited to come home, and it seems I have hurt her more than I ever intended. Mind you, I also cannot go out to the bar one or two more of her planned nights. She is home for 23 days. In those 23 days, she is spending five with family. I am spending seven with my family and my boyfriends family. So that leaves us with 16 days. It really is a lot, but considering I am not okay with spending the amount of money New Years Eve suggests at the bar, I have lost more time with Bianca. She doesn't start school for a full week after I, so she is in town an extra week. But, since I am in class I won't see her much still, and the last Friday she is home is up in the air with me because of school.
I suggested a karaoke night, which she seems happy with, but because I have said no to many of the bar nights with us four close friends (been together for about 15 years), she is really hurt. I'm not sure what else to do. I guess I'm going to have to wait it out, hope she will understand, and go with it.
I am incredibly excited for her to come home. This girl always makes me smile, and has such a zest for life you can't help but be happy around her. She has been there for me through so much, and we have countless memories together. Although many do not know it, she is my best friend. I like to say I have more than one best friend, but I view her as my best, best friend.
I will be flying to see her during my Reading Week, and am thrilled. A week with her will be a blast. I did it last year, and although I didn't accomplish any school work, I didn't care. I enjoyed my time with her too much.
Well, I got my thoughts out of my system, I guess it is now time to head back to studying. Wish me luck.
xoxo DaybyDayS. God bless.
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