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Accepting Emotions

I have never quite understood why we have been shaped to believe that negative emotions are meant only to be shown behind closed doors. It's puzzled me for years.  If I'm sad on my way to work, why can't I cry on the bus?  Why can't I yell if I stub my toe walking in the park?

It isn't even just in public, but I find that often family and friends will try and automatically put a positive spin on negative situations.  Why can't we simply feel that emotion- why is it that people around us, people we care about and vice versa, tell us to "look at the bright side"??  Are we that scared of getting to know ourselves?  Scared of loneliness, rejection, being weak?  How about being human??

From a young age we are taught not to cry- men and women alike.  How many of you had parents tell you "you're okay" after scraping your knee?  Or tell you to "stop whining" when you didn't like something?  As much as I feel there is great value in both examples provided, do we go over the line?  Are we encouraging future generations to hide who they are and how they feel?  Perhaps some of this is why some teens struggle to talk about any emotions at all (aside from hormones and puberty being factors of course).

Better yet, why are these emotions construed as 'negative' in connotation? Crying when you're happy is positive, but crying when you're sad is not.  I'm not sure about you, but almost always after I cry when I'm sad or tired or stressed, I feel a tiny bit better.  Sometimes I just need to let it go, let it out, and just wallow in my emotions.  I also have realized that I feel like I have this ridiculous need to protect my family and friends from my emotions- I don't want them to feel bad, guilty, responsible, or disappointed in how I feel.  Consequently, emotions and thoughts and feelings get pushed aside, to the back of my brain.  This is bad, I think.  Because I don't deal with or feel said emotions, thoughts, and feelings...they build up and eventually I erupt just like a volcano.  Lately I've begun to think this is a large part of my anxiety too. 

So in the future, if I want to cry, LET ME cry.  If I want to run all of my anger out, LET ME.  If I miss you and want to wallow quietly in it, LET ME.  Just the same as you'd let me laugh when I'm being silly, smile when I'm happy...just the same as you'd let me shriek in delight, laugh from embarrassment, or scream in fear.  Let me be me.  Let me be human.  

It's okay to feel.  Life isn't lollipops and rainbows all the time, but that's okay- I don't want to live my life jacked up on sugar and chasing after an endless rainbow.  I want to be right where I am, embracing my life in every moment that comes, including the not-so-happy and not-so-pleasant moments.
                I want to understand, I want to grow, and I want to be able to one day appreciate feeling the way I feel and knowing why.



I may not be optimistic at all times.  I may want to admit that I'm not as strong as I think, or that I need help. So let me.  Let me be optimistically realistic.  Or perhaps, realistically optimistic

Toss me your thoughts fellow humans! Forget about filtering them!
Robotic comments are frowned upon :) 
. 
xoxo, 
S. 
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