For so long we have been told not to be innocent bystanders- that we need to stand up for those around us. But what about standing up for ourselves? I'm not talking simply standing up to a bully, but truly standing up for ourselves. For our beliefs. Our values. The way our individual minds work. Standing up for our quirks and our negative qualities (we all have them- we aren't perfect...perfection isn't achievable). Stand up for our thoughts. For who we are. And, god forbid, we need to stand up for our emotions, for how we feel. We're just going to be trampled over if we don't. And none of us deserve that. We're all worthy of expressing ourselves without fear of judgement.
I'm not sure about the rest of you, but I struggle almost every day to stand up for myself. I've finally realized that it all goes back to one reason why- fear. Fear of rejection. Fear of not being understood. Fear of judgement. Fear of being mocked, embarrassed, or humiliated. Fear of having someone disappointed in me. But even more than all of those, I'm fearful of the feelings I'll attain- I'll be manipulated, that I'll feel guilty, feel disappointed in myself, feel stupid or dumb, feel silly, feel naive, feel foolish...the list goes on. I am, wholly, holding myself back.
The unfortunate thing is, although I tend to do it almost every day, it's become a problem for my relationships. For all of them. I have an incredibly hard time building new ones- new friendships, peer relations, being friendly to others, basic social abilities, and romantically. I don't tend to trust. I don't tend to let anyone get too close. If something freaks me out, I almost always bolt with some lame excuse. I don't tend to talk much (which, for those of you that know me well enough, is uncommon-I love to talk). I become careful with my words, worried about offending someone. I've caught myself back pedalling in so many conversations just to keep everyone around me happy. I don't stand up for myself.
I've begun to see this worry or fear in other people around me also. Someone I know tends to put others first-always. Even if they don't want to do something, or it makes them uncomfortable, they will put up with it simply because they don't want to have to choose or create tension or conflict. Another individual, I have noticed, stands quietly while people that should love them undermine and berate them and their capabilities. Why? Seriously. Why? Do we truly try and please others so much that we forget to put ourselves first? Can be actually be happy that way? Are we setting ourselves up for disappointment, failure?
I really want to write more about this, I truly do. Feel like I could really develop some points a bit more, and look at this a bit more in depth. Unfortunately, I have a midterm to study for, sleep to be had (or desired at least), and cleaning to do. The life of a procrastinating student.
On that note, chin up everyone. If I am worthy of fully expressing myself, then you are too. Don't let people minimize your beliefs, stop letting yourself be brushed off or aside. Stand up. Stand up for your personality, beliefs, values, uniqueness, quirks, and emotions. In order to fully be you, you need to be able to express yourself. Don't let fear hold you back. Embrace it.
xoxo,
S.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPd1GIwjRFM
I'm not sure about the rest of you, but I struggle almost every day to stand up for myself. I've finally realized that it all goes back to one reason why- fear. Fear of rejection. Fear of not being understood. Fear of judgement. Fear of being mocked, embarrassed, or humiliated. Fear of having someone disappointed in me. But even more than all of those, I'm fearful of the feelings I'll attain- I'll be manipulated, that I'll feel guilty, feel disappointed in myself, feel stupid or dumb, feel silly, feel naive, feel foolish...the list goes on. I am, wholly, holding myself back.
The unfortunate thing is, although I tend to do it almost every day, it's become a problem for my relationships. For all of them. I have an incredibly hard time building new ones- new friendships, peer relations, being friendly to others, basic social abilities, and romantically. I don't tend to trust. I don't tend to let anyone get too close. If something freaks me out, I almost always bolt with some lame excuse. I don't tend to talk much (which, for those of you that know me well enough, is uncommon-I love to talk). I become careful with my words, worried about offending someone. I've caught myself back pedalling in so many conversations just to keep everyone around me happy. I don't stand up for myself.
I've begun to see this worry or fear in other people around me also. Someone I know tends to put others first-always. Even if they don't want to do something, or it makes them uncomfortable, they will put up with it simply because they don't want to have to choose or create tension or conflict. Another individual, I have noticed, stands quietly while people that should love them undermine and berate them and their capabilities. Why? Seriously. Why? Do we truly try and please others so much that we forget to put ourselves first? Can be actually be happy that way? Are we setting ourselves up for disappointment, failure?
I really want to write more about this, I truly do. Feel like I could really develop some points a bit more, and look at this a bit more in depth. Unfortunately, I have a midterm to study for, sleep to be had (or desired at least), and cleaning to do. The life of a procrastinating student.
On that note, chin up everyone. If I am worthy of fully expressing myself, then you are too. Don't let people minimize your beliefs, stop letting yourself be brushed off or aside. Stand up. Stand up for your personality, beliefs, values, uniqueness, quirks, and emotions. In order to fully be you, you need to be able to express yourself. Don't let fear hold you back. Embrace it.
xoxo,
S.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPd1GIwjRFM
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