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Rainy Autumn Day Thoughts

Always inside of my head. Rarely ever out. Game after game after game. Psyching myself out. Is it good, bad? Is it right, wrong? Is it going to work, fail? Is it honest and true? Is it worth it?
What is worth?
How do we measure it?
Why..
do we care so much
And judge ourselves so harshly
comparing ourselves to each other
and others to us and our past.

~~~~~~~~

It makes one wonder. Or at least it makes me wonder. Wonder why we do what we do. Why it seems like we are programmed to
doubt ourselves and programmed to have little trust in others. We aren't all like that but it seems like majority of us are.

Today it is a grey, rainy, overcast day. And although I am not doing cartwheels outside or jumping up and down like a little kid on Christmas morning, I am quite happy. Rain and autumn. Normally it causes people to feel gloomy and causes moods. For me, I get into a writing frame of mind and when I write, even if it is sad writing, I am at peace. It is the one time I could be crying from being sad or tired or stressed but still be at peace that entire time. It's an incredible feeling. I thrive for it. Writing truly is my vice and sometimes I even believe I could have a future in writing if I so wanted. If we all could find that vice, like I have found, maybe things would be easier. Maybe the world would be less angry. Or maybe the world would just have too many crying people that no longer want to interact with other people.

Human interaction is so key. Between our own cultures and between other cultures, if but to open our eyes to new ways of life and experiences. Life is beautiful and full of unique people and lifestyles if we look hard enough. Although we may judge people based on what they do, say, or how they look, we judge them because we want to see how they measure up with ourselves and our friends and family. We strive for the best, and sometimes seeing other lifestyles allows to to adopt these practices and become better people ourselves. We just never know anyone's entire story. Not unless we get right inside their culture and lifestyle and sit beside them to see things through their eyes, instead of our own. We all have so much to learn. From others, and then eventually ourselves if we so choose and allow.

Days like today. Eye opening, thought provoking and insightful. Just another day. Blissfully beautiful, no matter what life throws my way. Always finding something to smile at.
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