Day by Day AS ...

Opening oneself is a challenge. It's just as much a challenge opening oneself to others as it is to being completely honest with ourselves. Opening ourselves to others is a scary thing. You may want to show this person more of you, but are scared. And with good reason. What if that person isn't who you think they are, or want them to be? Then what? So, you have to trust them. You yourself are able to decide who you trust, and how much you trust them. Yet, trust too is a scary thing. Trust is so powerful and means so much when it exists. Yet one word, one action, one thought can change all of that. It only takes an instant for everything to crumble. Trust is so fragile; so how do you build it with someone? It needs to be built upon a stable foundation. But then, what's a stable foundation? Nothing is cut and dry in this world. Black and white situations do not exist. This only furthers ones fear of opening ourselves to others, to strangers. As time goes on, I ...

1. I am a huge hypocrite. I don’t like that about myself, and am trying to fix it. I am trying to take my own advice instead of making excuses.  2. I’m scared of change. I generally only show it behind closed doors.  3. I love to smile and laugh. A lot.  4. My family is huge to me. My closest friends included. If you cannot accept them, we will probably have a problem.  5. One of my biggest fears is disappointing others, but I’m even more scared of disappointing myself.  6. I tend to care too much about what other people think of me.  7. I can get kind of crazy, but in a good way.  8. I enjoy most- if not all- sports. I love spending hours tossing around a football or kicking a soccer ball around.  9. I believe that there is a huge difference between loving someone and being in love with someone.  10. I love to help. I wish I was able to help out in a more meaningful way more often.  11. I’m really quiet when I first meet new people, but...

One word. That's all it is. That's all it takes. One single solitary word. How one word can mean so much astounds me sometimes. Taken straight from the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, disappointment means to disappoint, which in turn means "to fail to meet the expectation or hope of." Growing up I always worried about disappointing my parents. Who didn't? There was ones own education, how they treated others, how one handled their responsibilities, whether they did the right thing or not, appearance...the list goes on. For me, I always worried about disappointing my mom the most. She's a great lady. Works two jobs to provide for my siblings and I, listens and gives herself wholeheartedly to those in need.. she's a beautiful individual and to disappoint her would be the worst thing possible. But you see, it wasn't until recently that I realized that the worst is when you disappoint yourself. We all have goals and expectations for ourselves, both con...

So... it must seem like I am complaining but my love life is kinda dry and just waiting for a spark to come along. I know you girls out there understand, it's fine being single but sometimes you just want a boy to look at you or say something that just says "I don't know why your single" kinda thing..... anyways let me know what you think! July 11, 2010 When listening to the radio, it is hard to find a song that is not portraying a love bird feel to it For people in relationships it feels empowering, you know what they are talking about - you've experienced it and currently have it But what about the singles? Don't get me wrong, single has its perks and I don't regret being single but ... you always seem to wonder what it would be like to not be single for once Relationships (I believe) allow you to experience a part of you that you never knew or could experience while being single Think about it Being single allows you to explore the confident, bravery, a...

June 6, 2010 I truly believe that everyone should live their life to the fullest yet most of us seem to hold back. Why? Shouldn't it be easy? Make yourself happy by doing what you want to do Yet so many things hold us back on a daily basis - money, sometimes family / friends and ourselves You seem to need money for everything and anything now a days ... I couldn't even use this pen or paper without buying (or stealing) it first. And for money, you need a job that you love and from there maybe more than your "basic" education It sucks up half your life away - but if your doing something you enjoy isn't that living your life tot he fullest with money? Family and friends - they are tricky and lovable people because although they want you to make your own decisions and be happy ... you feel as if you have to act a certain way around them and when you go out of "your box" - they occasionally freak out But as long as your happy with what your doing (and its no...

So it's me again. I wrote this back in April and I thought I should post it. Maybe it will help others like it helped me, and if not, maybe it will let others know they are not alone. Either way, it happened to me. So yeah, this is my story of a rough end to a relationship. This is me. Moving On She slowly sits down. All she can hear are the loud sobs escaping from her own throat. The phone rings. It’s him. He wants to talk. She meets him outside. Why is she tempting herself? She knows she loves him. She knows she is better off without him. What is she doing? She needs to leave. She shouldn’t be doing this. She needs to go back inside. She hears him speak the words “I’m going to fight for you.” Her heart breaks a little more. She knew it would not be easy. She knew there would be tears, hers and his. But she never thought she would feel so torn. She never thought that the internal war raging inside of her would be so painful. She gets up. ...

First official blog. I have been wanting to do this for so long. There is something about writing my thoughts and feelings out to the world anonymously that appeals to me. I am not too sure where I want to start, but I figure a small introduction might work just fine. I'm Canadian. And I love it. And I am a small town girl. These two small things have shaped me hugely into who I am and what this blog will contain. I am huge on family and friends, believe in God, an animal lover and people person, and an optimist. I have had my hardships growing up so far, between family,school and everything in between, but overall I am a happy-go-lucky kinda girl. Anything from my life may end up on here. Anything and everything. It may range from simple thoughts and good days to a post about something I've contemplated about in depth for a long period of time. Anything posted by me may be free form, but there will probably be some poems posted on here as well. This blog is going to ...