Skip to main content

Extraordinary - Unprecedented, Unbalanced, Without Focus.

Ever since COVID-19 started making headlines, I had a stirring in my gut that told me this would be something bigger than we could imagine.  Yet, here we are, and I certainly didn't imagine this. These times truly are extraordinary.

What a word. Extraordinary. Ex-traordinary. Extra-ordinary. Extraordinary. A word that, I'm sure, held a positive association for the majority of us, for most of our lives. Suddenly, I'm fascinated by just how fluid and yet complex that word really is. These times are extraordinary - without the normal excitement we've come to associate with the word.


Many of us are out of work. Let go because of lack of business, or perhaps we aren't essential services. Some are working from home with a number of new factors. Perhaps their kids are home too, young or old. Others are working in essential services - mail carriers, delivery services, health care workers, custodians and more. Even still, some are modifying their business to stay open, to try and make ends meet and keep their doors open amid the chaos.

Some of us are sleeping and living away from our partners, missing them dearly but knowing that it is for our health and safety. Some of us are living in unhealthy relationships, with nowhere to turn to. Some of us are living alone, and feeling more alone than ever. And some of us just are living. Many, I'm sure, are living with worry, fear, uncertainty. Some coping with loved ones in the hospital. Loved ones that have compromised immune systems. Loved ones that may be pregnant.

And yet - we're all here. We're all human. We all want to stay healthy, to live. To return to 'normal'. We want extraordinary to disappear.

.....I don't know what to write. I want to write something poetic. Something impactful. Something with meaning. But how? There are thousands of us sick in our province, hundreds of thousands across the world. People are without their jobs, causing stress and for many - choosing between rent or mortgage and food. Children aren't in school. Recreational activities are cancelled. Social events, helpful for many of our own mental well-being, are unable to take place.

Some of us are scared. Some of us are in denial. Some of us just are. We're grieving, in our own way, at our own pace, in our own unique situation. We all have different circumstances. We all have changes we're facing, that we didn't anticipate. We're learning as we go. We don't know when that learning will stop.

Will I hug my grandparents again someday? I hope so. Will I return to my office, where I left photos of loved ones? Where I feel purpose, accomplishment and compassion? One day. But I don't know when.

Every day is different and new, without clarity. My priorities keep changing. I have days where I feel like I should be productive. Days where I feel like I can't get out from under the covers. I have moments where I want to cry. Moments where I want to dance. And sometimes, they're just minutes apart those moments.

These are extraordinary times. We are all extraordinary. We are all warriors. We are all human.

In a time where I, for once, am without words, let's keep it simple. Be kind. Don't judge - you never know what someone else is coping with. Take it slow. Cry if you want to. Yell if you need to. Be angry. Be scared. Just be. Love. Remember to breathe and know that one day, things will no longer be extraordinary. They'll just be ordinary.

Xoxo,
S

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Consistently Inconsistent

 I've certainly proven that I'm unable to regularly journal or blog. That I'm pulled to write when things are bad or awry or beyond my control, but rarely in a time where I feel joy, happiness or am at peace with things. We all know I'm here, journaling again, because I'm in my head. Feeling. Reflecting. Likely overthinking. As to be expected - consistently inconsistent.  I've been pushing myself for months now. Focusing on doing more, achieving more, earning more, finding more....always more . And I am so t i r e d. Somewhere along the way of trying to redefine myself and achieve goals I had set for myself, I lost sight of why I was doing things. What was motivating me. Why I set these goals. 

Tick Tock

Tick Tock Tick tock That's the sound I hear, every time I debate changing something. That's the sound I hear when I wonder if the work I'm doing is enough It's the sound I hear when I wonder how I can make a bigger, better impact It's the sound I hear when I question my purpose and abilities Tick Tock…Tick Tock…Tick Tock. Over and over, I hear that same sound. Am I ready for a car? A house? A family? Tick Tock.  Will I ever be?

Moving Forward

New year, new goals. For so many of us, our goals or 'resolutions' created every new year quickly dissipate.  I'm not sure if it lack of focus, lack of time, lack of determination or simply slacking.  It doesn't truly matter why so many of us cannot follow through on our goals, at least that isn't my point.  My point is that many of us enter every new year with a new goal, a new outlook...striving for improvement, for change. And for once, I'm excited. I'm not going to rehash my 2012 year for you- it was the standard ups and downs and you all can relate in your own way.  Rather I want to focus on the future.  One of my biggest goals is to conquer my anxiety and kick it to the curb.  I am so tired of it controlling many aspects of my life.  I want to live again.  I want to stop the doubt, the fear, the uncertainty, and the worrying.  The past 4 and a half months have been eye opening for me, and I feel like I've already come so far.  I...