New year, new goals.
For so many of us, our goals or 'resolutions' created every new year quickly dissipate. I'm not sure if it lack of focus, lack of time, lack of determination or simply slacking. It doesn't truly matter why so many of us cannot follow through on our goals, at least that isn't my point. My point is that many of us enter every new year with a new goal, a new outlook...striving for improvement, for change. And for once, I'm excited.
I'm not going to rehash my 2012 year for you- it was the standard ups and downs and you all can relate in your own way. Rather I want to focus on the future. One of my biggest goals is to conquer my anxiety and kick it to the curb. I am so tired of it controlling many aspects of my life. I want to live again. I want to stop the doubt, the fear, the uncertainty, and the worrying. The past 4 and a half months have been eye opening for me, and I feel like I've already come so far. I'm slowly improving, but steadily. I have taken a more leadership style role in a seminar facilitation, took the Greyhound to a city I barely know by myself, used city transit in that same city by myself, have struck up conversation with my peers, and more. All of this used to instil fear in me. I used to panic, not want to leave the house, cry, hyperventilate, and then beat myself up for letting my anxiety control me. I had a huge disconnect for a long time. I knew that, whenever my anxiety kicked in, I was okay but I couldn't believe that I was okay. I now believe that I am capable, that I am strong, that I am worthy, that I am okay. It's huge for me, and I continue to want to improve myself and face my anxiety.
I've recently found a program I'm beyond excited about. I have one more fall term to complete before I can graduate with an Honours Major in Sociology and Minor in Thanatology. Instead of going for a Masters, I've decided to work hard, keep my average up, and apply to a competitive Social Development Studies program. The program has an option to combine it with an arts business major. This appeals to me so much! My long-term goal has been, for some time now, to start my own non-profit one day. I can't see any better way to immerse myself into that area than by completing a second undergrad in Honours Social Development Studies, Art, and Business degree. It would be another 3-4 years, but I'd also partake in co-op, allowing me to work for four months every school year. I'd also have to move away from family, but thank goodness I'd be less than 2 hours from home still. I truly haven't been this excited in a long time.
Life is so much about change, and growth and realizing who you are and who you aren't. It is very much about finding a place for yourself in the world, in society, fitting in, and doing our best. It's about love, fear, being vulnerable and it is about truly trying. I want to pursue what I'm passionate about- people and change.
I want to extend my sincerest thanks to those I care about- my family, friends, boyfriend and everyone else that has made an impact in my life, even in passing. You're all wonderful people and I love you all very much. Thank you for being you, and for standing by me. And to my boyfriend- thank you, for challenging me, for encouraging me, and for supporting me with all of this. I couldn't have asked for anyone better.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTJ7AzBIJoI
xoxo,
S.
For so many of us, our goals or 'resolutions' created every new year quickly dissipate. I'm not sure if it lack of focus, lack of time, lack of determination or simply slacking. It doesn't truly matter why so many of us cannot follow through on our goals, at least that isn't my point. My point is that many of us enter every new year with a new goal, a new outlook...striving for improvement, for change. And for once, I'm excited.
I'm not going to rehash my 2012 year for you- it was the standard ups and downs and you all can relate in your own way. Rather I want to focus on the future. One of my biggest goals is to conquer my anxiety and kick it to the curb. I am so tired of it controlling many aspects of my life. I want to live again. I want to stop the doubt, the fear, the uncertainty, and the worrying. The past 4 and a half months have been eye opening for me, and I feel like I've already come so far. I'm slowly improving, but steadily. I have taken a more leadership style role in a seminar facilitation, took the Greyhound to a city I barely know by myself, used city transit in that same city by myself, have struck up conversation with my peers, and more. All of this used to instil fear in me. I used to panic, not want to leave the house, cry, hyperventilate, and then beat myself up for letting my anxiety control me. I had a huge disconnect for a long time. I knew that, whenever my anxiety kicked in, I was okay but I couldn't believe that I was okay. I now believe that I am capable, that I am strong, that I am worthy, that I am okay. It's huge for me, and I continue to want to improve myself and face my anxiety.
I've recently found a program I'm beyond excited about. I have one more fall term to complete before I can graduate with an Honours Major in Sociology and Minor in Thanatology. Instead of going for a Masters, I've decided to work hard, keep my average up, and apply to a competitive Social Development Studies program. The program has an option to combine it with an arts business major. This appeals to me so much! My long-term goal has been, for some time now, to start my own non-profit one day. I can't see any better way to immerse myself into that area than by completing a second undergrad in Honours Social Development Studies, Art, and Business degree. It would be another 3-4 years, but I'd also partake in co-op, allowing me to work for four months every school year. I'd also have to move away from family, but thank goodness I'd be less than 2 hours from home still. I truly haven't been this excited in a long time.
Life is so much about change, and growth and realizing who you are and who you aren't. It is very much about finding a place for yourself in the world, in society, fitting in, and doing our best. It's about love, fear, being vulnerable and it is about truly trying. I want to pursue what I'm passionate about- people and change.
I want to extend my sincerest thanks to those I care about- my family, friends, boyfriend and everyone else that has made an impact in my life, even in passing. You're all wonderful people and I love you all very much. Thank you for being you, and for standing by me. And to my boyfriend- thank you, for challenging me, for encouraging me, and for supporting me with all of this. I couldn't have asked for anyone better.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTJ7AzBIJoI
xoxo,
S.
Best of luck! We only kind of know of each other but I just wanted to say I am really happy for you. You give hope. I've been battling numerous ... things.. and its just nice to see that people can find a light at the end of the tunnel. I wish you all the best
ReplyDeleteThank-you! Life is so much about growth and learning more about ourselves and continuing to build and mould who we want to become...no matter what you are battling I hope you realize that there are people who will always be there to help when you ask and that you too can reach that light.
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