Day by Day AS ...

Hello readers!  It's been a ridiculously long time since I have last posted.  My apologies!  But rest assured, I have a feeling that is all about to change (and no, not simply because I'm writing right now)!  I've come to recognize that I tend to feel the urge to blog during autumn and winter months, in addition to using blogging as a tool to procrastinate from school work (and it is a wonderfuuul procrastination tool, I promise you that). But I digress. Life has been fairly crazy lately to say the least. I'll give you a quick summary right now, just to keep everyone up to speed :) So I last posted wayyyy back in May (seriously, that was a whole other season ago! I really have been slacking!!).  Since then, I have not only been unemployed (three weeks working with my brother(s) and staging my mom's boyfriends house does not count as work), but I've been bored.  A lot.  I seriously cannot figure out how I lasted all summer without being bored out of ...

I have never quite understood why we have been shaped to believe that negative emotions are meant only to be shown behind closed doors. It's puzzled me for years.  If I'm sad on my way to work, why can't I cry on the bus?  Why can't I yell if I stub my toe walking in the park? It isn't even just in public, but I find that often family and friends will try and automatically put a positive spin on negative situations.  Why can't we simply feel that emotion- why is it that people around us, people we care about and vice versa, tell us to "look at the bright side"??  Are we that scared of getting to know ourselves?  Scared of loneliness, rejection, being weak?  How about being human?? From a young age we are taught not to cry- men and women alike.  How many of you had parents tell you "you're okay" after scraping your knee?  Or tell you to "stop whining" when you didn't like something?  As much as I feel there is great ...

It's been quite awhile since I've sat down and wrote- what better way to get back into it than by writing a Mother's Day post??? We all have mothers, and I'm sure the majority of us think ours are the best of the best, creme de la creme, and the greatest of them all.  The best part is, we're all right.  To each of us, our mothers are the best and we couldn't imagine anyone greater.  We have our own bonds with our mothers and these bonds only deepen the love and utmost respect we have for them.  They've put up with a lot from us kids, and I'm sure they'll put up with much more.   For all you mothers out there, give this link a read- I feel it captures the reality of what it means to be a Mom in every aspect, and then some:  Mother- the good, the bad and the funny .   The rest of this post is dedicated to my Mom.  For years, I have put my Mom up on a pedestal, holding her is the highest respect.  She has always given her heart and soul to m...

For so long we have been told not to be innocent bystanders- that we need to stand up for those around us. But what about standing up for ourselves?  I'm not talking simply standing up to a bully, but truly standing up for ourselves.  For our beliefs.  Our values.  The way our individual minds work.  Standing up for our quirks and our negative qualities (we all have them- we aren't perfect...perfection isn't achievable).  Stand up for our thoughts.  For who we are.  And, god forbid, we need to stand up for our emotions, for how we feel.  We're just going to be trampled over if we don't.  And none of us deserve that.  We're all worthy of expressing ourselves without fear of judgement. I'm not sure about the rest of you, but I struggle almost every day to stand up for myself. I've finally realized that it all goes back to one reason why- fear.  Fear of rejection.  Fear of not being understood. Fear of judgement.  Fear...

We all have been taught from a young age the value of communication, and good communication at that.  But what is communication?  Better yet, what is good communication?? Communication can take many forms, all of them falling under a category of either verbal or non-verbal.  It is the ability to send messages, convey information, and/or use actions to relay information or establish a point. That being said, we use communication every day.  We use it when we order food or drinks, we communicate when we say 'hello' or 'goodbye' and it is shaped by our tone of voice, our body language, and the format of any sentence.  So what is good communication?  Are we always expected to be able to communicate in a good manner? I'm not so sure.

For those of you that haven't had the chance yet, take the time to read my first post on vulnerability from a few months back  Vulnerability Part 1 .  I've had an interesting past few weeks and the weather, I'm sure, has been a large reason for my wandering -and most likely over analzyed- thoughts. But I digress. I don't know about the rest of you out there, but I'm someone that has an innate need to be accepted.  Even once I feel accepted by people, I need to then make sure that I hold some importance in their life.  However, I don't go and try to be accepted, nor do I try and be important...I simply wait anxiously for it to happen.  I wait to matter, and let it consume my mind in the meantime. Does it need to change?  Of course.  I recognize it isn't exactly healthy and it is something I should work on.  But right now, I'm sticking with acknowledging it.  I'm also acknowledging that most of my waiting anxiously is from my lack of vulnerab...

New year, new goals. For so many of us, our goals or 'resolutions' created every new year quickly dissipate.  I'm not sure if it lack of focus, lack of time, lack of determination or simply slacking.  It doesn't truly matter why so many of us cannot follow through on our goals, at least that isn't my point.  My point is that many of us enter every new year with a new goal, a new outlook...striving for improvement, for change. And for once, I'm excited. I'm not going to rehash my 2012 year for you- it was the standard ups and downs and you all can relate in your own way.  Rather I want to focus on the future.  One of my biggest goals is to conquer my anxiety and kick it to the curb.  I am so tired of it controlling many aspects of my life.  I want to live again.  I want to stop the doubt, the fear, the uncertainty, and the worrying.  The past 4 and a half months have been eye opening for me, and I feel like I've already come so far.  I...