For the past few days, perhaps even a week now, I have been tossing and turning many ideas through my head of what to blog about. I even was able to get a draft going on the value of actions vs words, but it just doesn't feel finished yet. I finally came up with a concept. Vulnerability.
I know most of us know what vulnerability is, or what it means to be vulnerable, but in case anyone is looking for clarification, Webster's dictionary defines vulnerable as "capable of being physically or emotionally wounded; open to attack or damage."
So many of us spend our lives running from being vulnerable, from trying to protect ourselves because we simply don't want to be hurt. I'm not talking just about relationships here, but everything. Some of us don't like to have pets, because eventually a bond is created and that makes us open to pain, especially knowing that odds are we will outlive our pets. It also pertains to careers- many of us stay inside the box we have created, the one that is safe and that we know we can do well, instead of living for the career that makes us happy and allows us to fail. Vulnerability is a huge part of our individual identity, in so many ways beyond human relationships.
It makes sense, really, to fear being vulnerable, to run for it... who wants to voluntarily risk being hurt? Especially if we've experienced hurt before, or have witnessed those around us go through such pain from being vulnerable. What we often overlook, however, is the plus side to being vulnerable.
Being vulnerable means risking hurt, yes, but being vulnerable means being yourself. If you are wholly yourself, instead of hiding part of you from prying eyes, you allow yourself to be happy, to grow, to learn, and to love. Can one ever be truly happy, experience love, or grow without being vulnerable first? I'm starting to think not. Hiding behind a wall (if you're like me it may even be titanium-coated and diamond-encrusted) is incredibly safe. But behind this wall is a part of ourselves we aren't allowing to breathe. The longer we hide behind a wall, the more draining it becomes and the more stress we put on ourselves. We begin to wonder why we can't find anyone to love us for all of who we are, why nothing seems to phase us any more and eventually why laughter eludes us. Hiding in safety, but if part of us is always hiding, we risk losing all of us.
Life is not lived without risks. If we don't take risks, we don't grow. If we don't take risks, we won't experience true joy. Look at what you are missing in your life, then ask yourself why it is missing. Is it truly because the 'right one' hasn't come along, or are you really pushing people away by being closed off? Are you unhappy in your career because you dislike your co-workers, or is it because you're lacking challenge and dreading the repetition of each day?
In a way it brings forth the age-old question- is it better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all? This applies in more ways than just relationships. Discover what part of yourself you are holding back on, and why. Then ask yourself the aforementioned question. The answer may surprise you.
Take the chance. Take a leap, a risk, maybe every take a jump, stumble, or fall. But embrace your life. If we don't allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we may be missing a lot of amazing things.
I know most of us know what vulnerability is, or what it means to be vulnerable, but in case anyone is looking for clarification, Webster's dictionary defines vulnerable as "capable of being physically or emotionally wounded; open to attack or damage."
So many of us spend our lives running from being vulnerable, from trying to protect ourselves because we simply don't want to be hurt. I'm not talking just about relationships here, but everything. Some of us don't like to have pets, because eventually a bond is created and that makes us open to pain, especially knowing that odds are we will outlive our pets. It also pertains to careers- many of us stay inside the box we have created, the one that is safe and that we know we can do well, instead of living for the career that makes us happy and allows us to fail. Vulnerability is a huge part of our individual identity, in so many ways beyond human relationships.
It makes sense, really, to fear being vulnerable, to run for it... who wants to voluntarily risk being hurt? Especially if we've experienced hurt before, or have witnessed those around us go through such pain from being vulnerable. What we often overlook, however, is the plus side to being vulnerable.
Being vulnerable means risking hurt, yes, but being vulnerable means being yourself. If you are wholly yourself, instead of hiding part of you from prying eyes, you allow yourself to be happy, to grow, to learn, and to love. Can one ever be truly happy, experience love, or grow without being vulnerable first? I'm starting to think not. Hiding behind a wall (if you're like me it may even be titanium-coated and diamond-encrusted) is incredibly safe. But behind this wall is a part of ourselves we aren't allowing to breathe. The longer we hide behind a wall, the more draining it becomes and the more stress we put on ourselves. We begin to wonder why we can't find anyone to love us for all of who we are, why nothing seems to phase us any more and eventually why laughter eludes us. Hiding in safety, but if part of us is always hiding, we risk losing all of us.
Life is not lived without risks. If we don't take risks, we don't grow. If we don't take risks, we won't experience true joy. Look at what you are missing in your life, then ask yourself why it is missing. Is it truly because the 'right one' hasn't come along, or are you really pushing people away by being closed off? Are you unhappy in your career because you dislike your co-workers, or is it because you're lacking challenge and dreading the repetition of each day?
In a way it brings forth the age-old question- is it better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all? This applies in more ways than just relationships. Discover what part of yourself you are holding back on, and why. Then ask yourself the aforementioned question. The answer may surprise you.
Take the chance. Take a leap, a risk, maybe every take a jump, stumble, or fall. But embrace your life. If we don't allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we may be missing a lot of amazing things.
We all need somebody to talk to. It would be good if we talked... not just pitter-patter, but real talk. We shouldn't be so afraid, because most people really like this contact; that you show you are vulnerable makes them free to be vulnerable.
~ Liv Ullmann (www.cafe-philosophy.com)
S. xoxo
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