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Breakthrough

I used to focus my life around others.  It was a huge part of who I was. I used to believe that my happiness was based on how happy those around me were.  Although I still believe that the happiness of those I care about is important, I am no longer letting their happiness shape my life.

For many years now I have struggled to find who I am, to get a grip on my reality.  I'm slowly feeling my grip getting stronger. I am pushing my comfort boundaries, I am striving to enjoy the small things once again in my life, I am establishing new values and morals for myself, and I am expanding my intellectual openness.


The immense amount of freedom and simple joy I have been feeling lately is incredible.  I haven't felt like this in a very long time.  It isn't so much that I feel like I can take on the world, rather that I feel that whatever life deals me, I can handle.  Better yet, I feel confident that I can handle whatever it may be in a manner that is true to me, a manner that exudes confidence and awareness.

A dear friend of mine challenges me to expand my view of the world, how I choose my words, open my mind to varying opinions in society and, most importantly I think, challenges me to simply relax.  I have lived in my own anxious bubble for far too long.  I have been working on relaxing, with professional help, for about nine months now. I always felt like I was doing better, but the feeling was often fleeting.  The same dear friend I mentioned earlier suggested I try something that they have found useful for themselves- in a way, it is a brief mediation.  He suggested I try and do it once a day, but so far I have only used it when I have felt overwhelmed or confused.  Regardless, it allows me to take a pressing problem or situation I feel at that moment in time, acknowledge it, accept it, then release the thought. As challenging as it has been at times, afterwards I truly feel more relaxed.

Many of us live our life in fear.  For some, we aren't able to step back and look at our life and realize that we are indeed fearful.  Some of us truly are just happy, content, and comfortable with where we are in our lives. The rest of us are likely living in a safe happy, content, and comfortable world.  But can we say we are truly living our lives if fear is keeping us from exploring our full potential, and what the world has to offer?  One thing I've always struggled with is talking to strangers.  If it is a part of my job, that is fine, I can do it with no problem.  When it comes to small talk, or strangers in a bar or on a bus etc, I avoid it as much as possible.  I am challenging myself to say 'hi' with a smile to more strangers every day.  Eventually I want to start conversing with these strangers.

What is one of your fears?  Is it keeping you from living your life the way you want it?  Is your life too safe?  I challenge all of you who read this to find something in your life that scares you, and embrace it.  Whether the fear is of mice, love, heights, or being alone...embrace it.  So many of us could do with opening ourselves up to the world...gain experiences, gain friends, gain trust, and gain understanding for who we are as individuals.
Be yourself.  Wholeheartedly.  Don't be anything less than true to you.  You might be surprised at where you can take yourself.

xoxo
S.

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