It's been a long few months. School has kept me busy, and then work as well. If you really want to, you could throw in my continuous failed attempts at finding a boyfriend. Simply put, life has happened. School is school. Work is work. Boys are boys. Life is life.
Since September though, I like to think I've come a long way as an individual. I've learned more about myself in the past two to three months than I thought was possible. I'm slowly growing consequently, and discovering new things about myself. I know now how much I can handle when I need to. I also know now that there are a lot of times I think I can handle a lot, but I can't. And I also learned it really is okay to ask for help.
Nothing monumental has occurred in the past little while, but the thoughts and self-discovery has felt huge. The thoughts and emotions have been like a stream, slowly and continuously trickling between rocks.
It takes time to make any real progress, but I feel I have. I understand so much about why I am the person that I am today. I do not want to change who I am, but I do want to understand more about myself. I used to believe I was untouchable, and that other people would not impact who I was as an individual if I didn't want them too. It was an incredibly naive thought on my part. I know now how much what others think of me influences everything I do. Perhaps not everything in a literal sense, but quite near to it. It is because of other people that I care so much about my dress, my speech, and my space. I have built up quite a large wall. Apparently this wall isn't just large, but composed of cement blocks, coated in titanium and diamond encrusted (thanks DL). The wall, oddly enough, doesn't stop me from trusting people. It does however, cause me to be highly suspicious of peoples motives. It is the motives of people I do not trust.
I guess none of this makes sense to a lot of you. I have always been a thinker, and over the years a bit of a writer. I however, don't tend to explain my thoughts or my thought process. I am tempted to disclose more about this progress of mine that I have made, but -although meant to be anonymous- some know who I am and I am not sure if they will read this or not. Those that need to know, do. Those that don't know can ask and I'll go from there.
I've begun to take things slow again. Slowly and surely, and enjoy it. Although these past few months have been exhausting in many aspects, I have enjoyed them. Overall I have been very happy. I have made new friends, faced new challenges and met them, pushed myself to understand who I am, and have made new memories with friends and family. I'm not just simply stopping and smelling the roses anymore; now I am taking them home with me, so I can stop and smell them more often.
Believe in who you are, who you can be, and who you have been. Progress will be made. Life will continue. Laughter will prosper, and love will endure and blossom. Have faith, have patience.
xoxo
S.
Since September though, I like to think I've come a long way as an individual. I've learned more about myself in the past two to three months than I thought was possible. I'm slowly growing consequently, and discovering new things about myself. I know now how much I can handle when I need to. I also know now that there are a lot of times I think I can handle a lot, but I can't. And I also learned it really is okay to ask for help.
Nothing monumental has occurred in the past little while, but the thoughts and self-discovery has felt huge. The thoughts and emotions have been like a stream, slowly and continuously trickling between rocks.
It takes time to make any real progress, but I feel I have. I understand so much about why I am the person that I am today. I do not want to change who I am, but I do want to understand more about myself. I used to believe I was untouchable, and that other people would not impact who I was as an individual if I didn't want them too. It was an incredibly naive thought on my part. I know now how much what others think of me influences everything I do. Perhaps not everything in a literal sense, but quite near to it. It is because of other people that I care so much about my dress, my speech, and my space. I have built up quite a large wall. Apparently this wall isn't just large, but composed of cement blocks, coated in titanium and diamond encrusted (thanks DL). The wall, oddly enough, doesn't stop me from trusting people. It does however, cause me to be highly suspicious of peoples motives. It is the motives of people I do not trust.
I guess none of this makes sense to a lot of you. I have always been a thinker, and over the years a bit of a writer. I however, don't tend to explain my thoughts or my thought process. I am tempted to disclose more about this progress of mine that I have made, but -although meant to be anonymous- some know who I am and I am not sure if they will read this or not. Those that need to know, do. Those that don't know can ask and I'll go from there.
I've begun to take things slow again. Slowly and surely, and enjoy it. Although these past few months have been exhausting in many aspects, I have enjoyed them. Overall I have been very happy. I have made new friends, faced new challenges and met them, pushed myself to understand who I am, and have made new memories with friends and family. I'm not just simply stopping and smelling the roses anymore; now I am taking them home with me, so I can stop and smell them more often.
Believe in who you are, who you can be, and who you have been. Progress will be made. Life will continue. Laughter will prosper, and love will endure and blossom. Have faith, have patience.
xoxo
S.
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