Day by Day AS ...

This post isn't long. It's short, by my standards. But I don't feel the need to write a winding post - not this time, anyway. This morning,  my alarm goes off like most mornings… but today is different - I'm already awake.  I haven't slept much - the thoughts don't seem to leave my head. Reading doesn't help. Nothing seems to help. I lie in bed wondering if I have to get up.  Remember it's Monday - I work. Start to wonder how many sick days I have left. I just want to go back to sleep. Stay in bed all day. Too much going on in the world. Too much to juggle in my personal life.  A lot of changes at once and yet I keep making myself busier. I take a mental health day, but I'm in tears doing it.  I feel a huge amount of disappointment shrouding me - are they judging me? Do I really need to take today off? Am I weak? Am I just taking the easy way out?

Tick Tock Tick tock That's the sound I hear, every time I debate changing something. That's the sound I hear when I wonder if the work I'm doing is enough It's the sound I hear when I wonder how I can make a bigger, better impact It's the sound I hear when I question my purpose and abilities Tick Tock…Tick Tock…Tick Tock. Over and over, I hear that same sound. Am I ready for a car? A house? A family? Tick Tock.  Will I ever be?